Like much of WordPress and many other websites, this blog will be going dark on January 18th at 8AM EST to protest the Stop Online Piracy Act (SOPA) and Protect IP Act (PIPA). These bills are a threat to our freedom of speech and must be stopped.
It’s January 5th. My Christmas tree is still up, but the holidays are over and all that’s left is a long stretch of winter leading up to spring break. The new semester hasn’t even started yet, and I’m counting down to spring break. Bad sign.
Ahhh winter, how I loathe thee. Sure, snowflakes are pretty when they accumulate to the point that everything is closed and you can stay inside with a cup of hot chocolate. Or take the time off to build a snowman. (Boy, I hope Chubbs will be happier with the snow this year. He didn’t like it last year. No idea why.) But the cold. And the shoveling. And the getting up earlier than usual to go out in the cold and shovel. Gah.
Only took him three hours to shovel all that.
I digress… I want to think only happy thoughts. I watched “The Secret” about a hundred times over the holidays (take that, “It’s a Wonderful Life”) and there’s some good stuff there. I don’t know how much I believe about “The Law of Attraction“, but I can’t deny that life is better –and easier– when I focus on the positive. Depression is such an asshole.
So how about you? Have you watched “The Secret”? Do you believe it? Has it worked for you?
It’s time for me to take another short break from blogging. This time of year is busy for me, as it is for most people, but it’s also a time that I like to spend in reflection. Holidays stir up emotions and memories, sometimes ones that were long since forgotten. I want to withdraw from the fast pace of the world and allow myself to settle into a rhythm that feels natural.
Remember that book review I wrote yesterday about Deborah Bryan’s novel The Monster’s Daughter? Well, she’s giving away a copy! Click the link below to visit Deb’s blog and find out how to enter.
(c) 2011 Deborah Bryan. Image used with permission of the author.
I knew Deborah Bryan (a.k.a. The Monster in Your Closet) had written a novel, and I knew from reading her blog since her post Reading While Walking received the honor of “Freshly Pressed” back in May that I really dug her style. The more I read her blog, the more I wanted to read her book. So I ordered a copy of The Monster’s Daughter. Boy, am I glad I did.
Ginny Connors is an intelligent, level-headed, compassionate character who just happens to be the daughter of a vampire. In this novel, we follow her journey as a heroine committed to saving innocent people from her monstrous father—while maintaining an identity as a sociable teenager with typical high school struggles.
If you’re thinking that vampire stories are not for you, that’s okay. This book is much more than that. It is the story of a girl who overcomes many obstacles to find herself stronger and more capable than ever. Ginny knows something must be done about her father’s vicious tendencies and her only concern is making it happen. Her strong will prevails throughout her battles, which are both internal and external.
While trying to plan how to best accomplish her vampire-slaying goal, Ginny remains close with and loyal to her girlfriends and boyfriend, none of whom can know the truth about her father. The balance she manages to achieve with drastically differing facets of her life is impressive. Ginny navigates the troubled waters with tact and diligence.
Just as Ginny is a complex character with complex problems, this novel offers deeper themes that underlie its captivating story. Anyone who has suffered from abuse, neglect, dysfunctional family dynamics, or even self-doubt –or knows someone who has– can find something in these pages that will ring true to them.
If you enjoy excitement, courageous characters, and unexpected plot twists in your novels, you’ll love “The Monster’s Daughter.” Do yourself a favor and purchase a copy today.
I grew up in a household where communication quality was mostly acceptable if you’d said something within earshot of the person who was meant to hear. My mom knew that our skills needed boosting, but having lacked the experience herself, she turned to self-help books for guidance. I learned a lot of things like…
When you ______, I feel ________.
My feelings are hurt when ___________.
In an effort to avoid blaming people for things, a variation of these statements became embedded in my verbal responses to emotional triggers. I thought –as I was taught– that emphasizing my feelings would open the gate to a more sympathetic reaction from others. I didn’t want to attack anyone, so I put my heart on the line.
Image by 周小逸 Ian, CC by 2.0
It didn’t work. Over the years, when I tried in this manner to approach people about issues that were important to me, I found blame placed on me instead. I practiced the “it’s not you, it’s me” routine, and people were all too willing to accept it. I felt powerless. The communication tactics I’d learned were making things worse.
I’m not saying that these are invalid strategies. These are basic tools that counselors teach their clients to help them improve their relationships. I was miseducated on the implementation. Somehow, when my mom tried to learn these lessons and pass them on to me, everything went awry. I needed someone to model effective communication…and so did she. I’m finding the help I need now, in two unexpected ways.
Being a university student and being exposed to college faculty and industry professionals has been an invaluable experience. I learn so much from being around them; it’s the first time in my life I’ve been in regular, close contact with people I admire both for their talent and the way they present themselves. My skills have increased tenfold just from observation.
Blogging –or more specifically, reading others’ blogs– has also increased my ability to communicate. There are bloggers I follow (check out my blogroll to the right!) who regularly amaze me with their insightful, poetic entries. Reading their words inspires me. That inspiration is channeled into my posts, and I’m pleased to say that writing more effectively has helped me better communicate orally as well. Interaction through comments adds icing to the cake.
I’m grateful to everyone who is helping me on the path to improved communication. I have needed this for years.
Have you suffered from inadequate communication skills? Who or what helped you become better at it? Were you also over thirty when you finally started learning?
Still sick and delirious over here, but I remembered that I wanted to post this ages ago. Without further ado..
In late spring, AC and I took Chubbs on a trip to Adventure Aquarium in Camden, NJ. Situated across the Delaware River from Philadelphia, PA, Camden is well known in the area for its aquarium…and its high crime rate. Here are some photos that probably won’t make it into the scrapbook:
I printed directions. AC wanted to use GPS. The two contradicted each other in an epic map battle that lengthened our trip by about half. God, I hate the NJ Turnpike.
Welcome to Camden. Please lock your car doors.
Thankfully, Adventure Aquarium takes criminal hijinks very seriously and protects its patrons with the use of this menacing sign.
Oh yeah. As soon as I finished reading this, I realized I was standing under a bird-filled tree and I got crapped on. Awesome.
I think all of the above is pretty unfortunate/hilarious, but overall we really did have a great time. We didn’t even come close to getting mugged. Here are my favorite photos from the day:
I didn't mean to leave the flash on for this one, but I like the result: Chubbs in awe.
Chubbs and "Nemo" on the ride home
Six months later, Chubbs still asks to go back to see the big sharks and Nemo’s. I can’t believe the memory on this kid. Lucky for me, there’s a shop nearby that sells fish and supplies to aquarium aficionados. I wonder how many times we can go before they make us buy something…
I want to reply to comments. I want to feed my Facebook addiction. I want to write more of the story that popped out of my head and onto paper yesterday.
But my body wants rest. I should probably listen to it. It’s much smarter than me.
Jess is the mama of a two-year-old and a full-time student who spends her time being silly and responsible, often simultaneously. Her hobbies include yoga, overthinking and blogging at Sapphire and Rain, the explanation for which can be found here.
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